It seems that everything I do in terms of Kundalini Yoga is now entwined with Gurbani, the reading of the Siri Guru Granth Sahib ~ the Sikh Holy Book. Still practicing Laya Yoga and the Ashtang Mantra, I sat to read this morning. I read the following:
"21, Sri Rag, First Guru, (p. 71): To forget the Beloved, even for an instant, produces great affliction in the soul. How can honour be acquired in God's court, if He dwells not in mortal's mind? By meeting the Guru, peace is obtained and the fire of desire is quenched in singing the Lord's praises. O' my Soul, day and night deliberate over the excellences of God. Who forget not God's Name even for an instant; such persons are rare in this world. (Pause) When human light blends with Supreme Light and the union of wisdom is effaced with the universal wisdom, then mortal's killing instinct and egotism depart and suscepticism and sorrow afflict him not. The Guru-ward, within whose mind abides the Lord, him the Guru unites with Lord's union. If I surrender my body like a bride to the Master, the Enjoyer will enjoy me. Make not love with him, who appears to be but a passing show. That Lord Consort, on His Couch, enjoys the virtuous and chaste brides."
As I read I felt the strangest sensation of warmth at the perineum, which began to grow hot. I re-read the rag 10 times more, feeling that for me, it would be as healing as saying the So Purkh 11times is for a man. That was my intuition, and I was right. As I read again the heat intensified. It grew so hot I felt I was on fire! Hotter than any Reiki hands had every been. It quickly began to frighten me. I knew this was a form of healing, the Guru's grace, but it was too intense. I suddenly remembered that the ajna chakra, the third eye, is where the pituitary resides, connected energetically to the pineal gland in the crown chakra. From here supposedly comes the Amrit, the Amrita, the Divine Nectar. I imagined it flowing down like cool water to cool my blazing root chakra, and amazingly, it did!!!
Then the sensation of heat rose up my spine, like a bubble from a boiling pot, into my heart, where it seemed to burst and fall back down. It rose again more slowly with my visualization, and then it became almost like a flicker of a breeze, a cooling breath, blowing the energy up into my throat. I coudn't feel it for sure after that. It seemed to flutter and hang suspended in midair like a hummingbird.
But something happened. Something healed. Maybe it was a way of boiling off the residue from long past abuses to my body. It felt as if so much of the torture and abuse I endured beyond my curiosity was being lifted. That even the side of me still perversely drawn to pain because I knew it so well, was being healed. I think of Nirinjan Kaur's "Heal Me" and "Kaval Nain" as well. I'll have to go find the words and read. Meanwhile, I am "...back at my cliff, still throwing things off", like Björk in her song. I am sitting for Bound Lotus. Singing the Ray Man Shabd. I am sitting for Laya Yoga. Chanting the Ashtang mantra.
Bless the Sikhs. Bless all those turbaned heads. Bless Yogi Bhajan. Bless my father and his prayers.
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