This morning I finished sadhana in bliss! Chardi Kala Jatha is now my favorite with the traditional Indian raga. I was feeling really peaceful and as if my body were vibrating everywhere...then the phone rang. Some jerk was looking for the woman who had my number five years ago. Five years ago I used to get phone calls for her all the time. Finally they stopped. Then this jackass calls and refused to listen when I explained that I don't even know the woman, just her name ~ because I have heard it so much. He said, and I quote: "Blah, blah, blah! Just another sob story! Wah, wah!" Then he hung up, after he had called me!!!! I went off. Shaking with rage more than I ever have, my hands, arms and entire torso shaking, I called the company back, asked for a supervisor, threatened to sue for harassment if they ever called again, and yelled everything I was saying. I promised him that if anyone from his company ever called again, the first thing I would do would be to yell, and THEN I'd call a lawyer."
When I hung up, it took me a while, but I calmed down. I eventually went to lunch and forgave myself for screaming.
Lunch was so beautiful! I sat outside on the patio at Rasoi, looking up at the sun, and down at the green heart-shaped leaves in the planter. I watched as leaves fell from the trees and danced in the street. My food was delicious. Jagdeep and Prakash came to talk to me, and Jagdeep reminded me that her grandaughter's name is Amrita. I ate the most delicious Chana Dahl, the rice pudding was sweet, but not too much, and the sky was gorgeous! Birds sang and I listened. The light fell on my half-full glass of water, and reflected onto the table in such a way that I wanted immediately to paint in watercolors again, even oils! I could smell the linseed oil just thinking about it. I missed being an artist. I felt the love for it that I had before Mom died, and before I dated the devil. Fat little Mr. Potato Head.
The day was so exquisite. And as I walked home, a gentleman in a fedora tipped his hat to me, and did a little bow.
At home, I sat on the sofa, and gazed out the window in awe of how beautiful the day was...
Then the phone rang again. It was the boss everyone hates and wishes would die. Up to her tricks and antics to steal energy by either intimidating or berating people, or making fun of them, or belittlng them, she had a proposition for me that involved her new little protegé subbing all my classes while at KRI Teacher Training, but she didn't just mean the ones that still needed to be covered. She meant to take classes away from people who had gone out of their way to sub for me. I regretted having answered the phone. I usually let her calls go to voicemail because she is such an energy vampire. Everyone knows it, even she herself does. I really think she is an energy addict, she can't pull the needle out. So she got me.
Finally I managed to extricate myself from her spidery phone embrace, and barely in the nick of time. I was exhausted, but not sick, thankfully. I was very disoriented, though, and dizzy. Somehow I had the bright idea to go straightaway to my meditation room before going to teach, and to sit and do Laya Yoga with the mantra. When I finished, my energy was back!!! Maybe not as high as it had been after lunch, but normal. I then sat to read a hukam again, and my rage at my boss subsided. A few hours later it was back, and I found myself so angry I wished she would fall down the stairs, but then that is generally how I feel about her. She sucks. Literally. Nobody likes her.
And so I read again from the Guru. Afterwards a blanket of peace descended, and I wondered if I could ever help this woman figure out how to draw her energy from within, rather than from other people. Can I be the friend to her that other people have been for me? I think I could, but not while working at her studio. I need to quit working there. When I can afford to, I will. Besides that, it is too stressful. Working there when she is there feels worse than giving a lap dance at a strip club. If she worked at a strip club, the other employees would likely have shoved her in a locker and locked it. Unfortunately, today, with my mind fluctuating from positive to negative to neutral and back around, shoving her in a locker is what I really want to do...
It is hard, really, to think only of positive thoughts while doing this Laya Yoga. I keep trying.
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