Funny that tomorrow marks 300 Days in a row of the Releasing Fear meditation, because a Tiger-striped Jumping Spider bounced into the meditation room this morning around 4:20 am! He sort of stopped when I saw him and acted like he was having a fearfully special moment himself. Having spent nearly my entire life so freakishly afraid of spiders that I have been known to throw books containing pictures of spiders across the room, I find it heart-palpitatingly funny that this big ass spider showed up today. Less than a foot from me during Japji, only my eyes bugged out to match his...whereas in recent years I would have spontaneously and uncontrollably let loose a hideous, blood-curdling scream! Thankfully, I did not scream over KartaPurkh, and Sat Inder Kaur was only moderately aware of some strange goings-on.
I tried to put him in a sour cream container, but was unsuccessful, so said spider is probably setting up shop under the bookcase, or lurking in the air vent. I trundled off to bed for a nap later, sincerely hoping that the spider got a clue and left the house, and if not, that my mouth would stay closed while sleeping just in case he were to bounce into the bedroom. After these early morning antics, the rest of the day was fairly tame.
Much later in December, I was downstairs trying to do Bound Lotus in Kirpal's bedroom, and as I sat up to adjust my arms, I saw that damn freaky-deaky spider had crept up under the edge of the pillow, only an inch away from my closed right eye. Fuckin' A, I thought, but did not scream. That was significant. Spiders have always, in the past, sparked intense and uncontrollable shaking, screaming and general panicky behaviour. Not so that time.
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