As The Cocoon Spins

If caterpillars freaked out about 'dying to new life' and morphogenesis the way humans do, we wouldn't have any butterflies. Thank goodness some species aren't afraid to hum and sing and spin into a new existence.

Now that I think about it, chanting the Laya Yoga Ashtang mantra feels like spinning a cocoon. I can literally feel my DNA changing, spiraling, splicing...and helping me learn to let go of situations and friends that though they may have helped me often in the past, are refusing to let me grow and change. Good people who help others, and helped me, but aren't helping me now. This is part of the gift of doing Laya Yoga: to be able to let go of that which hinders.

Christmas morning is when I will emerge from this cocoon. But while inside the spiraling meditational vibration, I can see how some people think they are helping me, but are really helping their own egos, and trying, subconsciously, to prevent me from progressing. I can only imagine that even people who make it their mission to help others advance on the spiritual path, will sometimes balk when they see a student gaining on them, so to speak. If your ego gets attached to the idea of being in charge of other's spiritual advancement, you might not want to let them get to close to where you are on the path. That would explain the seemingly sabotagelike attempts to push my buttons, exhaust me, and do things like suggest that I not do this meditation for 90 days at 31 minutes, as the training manual suggests. Who knows for sure? It does seem a possibility.

Let me rephrase an old adage: If you love something (or someone), but they are hurting you more often than helping you, let them go. If they were ever yours to love, they will come back. If not, they won't. Either way, you succeed, because maintaining the status quo is not life but death. I want to live.

I've been trying to see all of the good, but it doesn't make it okay to continue allowing the hurtfulness just because there is also much good. There is still too much hurtfulness to be balanced out. And this is not my job. It's theirs. I feel like 'Yellow' in "Hope For the Flowers" walking off to let 'Stripe' do his own spinning thing.


Stay tuned for another installment of: 'As The Cocoon Spins'.